I feel like I can do anything. No matter how ugly things get at work, no matter how much pressure they put on us, I take a deep breath, swear a little and then I do what I have to do at my own pace. I can’t change them, I can’t organise them better, I can just try and not let them get to me.

Climbing helps a lot. The days I go to the gym are the best. I love the way everything else fades away when I’m there. It’s the perfect combination between using your own strength and finding the perfect balance. I am extremely happy when in the end I manage to climb a rout I find difficult. I love the way my body aches after a climbing session, how my coach humours me and how some other climbers push me to try more difficult things and how I exchange books with some of them. I feel great there!

We also bought tickets for the Andrieș concert and there are two book releases that I’m looking forward to. Martha is in Israel for 10 days, A. & D. have settled in Germany, my parents are in love with the dog, and as far as I know everyone else who matters is doing fine. I couldn’t be happier. Really.

81 days left until I board on a plane to Stuttgart! ♥

*Massive Attack – Saturday Come Slow

I also miss reading for hours. Brewing a pot of green tea and sitting in bed with a colourful blanket on my feet and reading like there’s no tomorrow. Mum has always been very understanding when it came to my reading habits, but she should have encouraged me to read even more. When I was at university she always nagged me to do things, to go out, to meet people, to study – but all I wanted to do was to read, read, read. Now I regret those years. I could have read more! I could have bought more books! I could have put into practice my idea of forming a book club, I could have done some many things!

The Indian restaurant has become our favourite place. It might not be the best Indian restaurant in Bucharest but it’s damn cozy and I love their playlist with Kings of Convenience. The food is delicious as well (and very spicy!), of course. So from now on I am going to take all my friends there and I’m starting with Pavla. She’s coming over on the 25th of March and I can hardly wait to see that crazy Czech girl again! Last time we saw each other was 2 (almost 3!) years ago when I was in Prague! Damn, how time flies… I will try to make the best of her stay here.

Last weekend I drank tequila for the first time. I also got some reindeer antlers with bells on them (the ones you usually put on around Christmas) and I love them! I’ve always wanted a pair of those And it’s such a blessing to be there for my friends on their very important days. Some people are really worth the trouble.

I love this moody spring and I can hardly wait to take my bike out for a ride (it will probably be tomorrow when I got to the climbing gym). Pretty soon I’ll take my blanket along and stop in the park to read in the grass

*Wir sind Helden – 23:55 Alles auf Anfang

Working from home is divine! I know have two days a week when I wake up early because I want to, not because I have to, when I don’t rush to work, when I cook and work even more, when I can enjoy a pot of my favourite tea instead of endless cups of so-so tea, when I spend time with Urma (if she wants) and when I am constantly smiling. I feel as if a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders!

Friday night, as we were leaving the restaurant and wanted to head home, we accidentally bumped into Amalia and Ovidiu – I haven’t seen her in ages! and me and Ovidiu said we’d meet for a tea one day – and I was so happy to see them, the surprise was so intense, that we decided on the spot to go somewhere together and catch up. And so we did. We haven’t been drinking and socializing in a very long time and it was great to do it again. There were so many things we shared with one another, so many laughs we weren’t able to hold back (and why should we?) – it was so so good! And while we were staggering home I realised that unpredictable outings are the best.

And then there are people which I can’t get enough of. We see each other almost daily at work and then I still want to see them afterwards, to go somewhere and talk even more, spend more time together. And I think it’s a good thing that I’m still able to feel that way about certain people, that it’s not only about people disappointing me but also about great friends who have found a special place in my heart and who will stay there a long long time.

Among pretty colourful presents I got a more… technical one. I love my new camera lens but I don’t know how to use it! I’m not going to make a fool of my myself and admit that I manhandled it from the first day but at least I’ve read some reviews and in theory I should be able to use it without a problem.

But until spring arrives and I can go outside with my camera without fearing that I might slip and land on it, here are a couple of pics taken with the Lensbaby Composer.

This is my third day in Baia Mare and I still can’t sleep properly. I used to love the bed here and whenever I got home I just put my head on the pillow and I was asleep. And now I toss and turn and nothing. Not even the two duvets and the overheated room don’t make things easier for me.

But it’s good to be back home, I have to admit that. I have already met some of my dear friends from here and I still have many more to meet. I haven’t had time for myself but I managed to have my hair cut (yes, A., now you won’t have to see the ugly cut from the back of my head anymore ), buy some winter shoes and spend quality time with Mum. Oh, it’s soooo good to eat cooked food again! I’m sick and tired of falafel and pizza! At the top of my list with resolution I should put ‘cook more’. But who actually keeps track of those silly resolutions? I think they sound nice, they give you the impression that the year that’s just starting is going to be different, better and then you end up doing the same stupid things all over again.

I’m eating tangerines like there’s no tomorrow. I envy that my father has a green thumb. Yeah, their apartment gets more sunlight than ours, but still… They have so many plants and flowers and so few casualties. All the plants that I buy wither either because I water them too much or too less or because they don’t have enough light. I want to bright up the place and I can’t. I such a loser in so many ways…

This snow is such a bitch! When I woke up there was a thin layer of snow everywhere and it was snowing beautifully with big fat flakes and now it’s gone I really can’t picture Christmas without it and the city looks so sad and muddy and ugly. But there are still some days left and I still have hope.

I want to go back to bed and read all day but I don’t know if I have the patience to do that. I’m really mad at myself for not reading as much as I used to. I have to change that but how? Reading is something so personal, so mood-dependent. I can’t force myself to read if I’m not in the right mood and because I have other activities in the evenings I don’t have much time to read. It’s a horrible vicious circle!

*DeYarmond Edison - As long as I can go

I dont know how you can carry around as much love as I’ve given you – (March 1919)

And so you see, Scott, I’ll never be able to do anything because I’m much too lazy to care whether it’s done or not – and I don’t want to be famous and fêted – all I want is to very young always and very irresponsible and to feel that my life is my own – to live and be happy and die in my own way – to please myself. (Fall 1919)

Was it fun in Paris? Who did you see there and was the Madeleine pink at five o’clock and did the fountains fall with hollow delicacy into the framing of space in the Palace de la Concorde and did the blue creep out from behind the colonades of the rue de Rivoli through the grill of the Tuileries and was the Louvre gray and metallic in the sun and did the trees hang brooding over the cafés and were there lights at night and the click of saucers and the auto horns that play Debussy. I love Paris. How was it? (Summer1930)

Do you still smell of pencils and sometimes of tweed? (Fall 1930)

It’s fun thinking of Christmas and the night you will get home and how you’ll look as you come out the gate. I will be surprised at your mondanity and very amazed that you are concice and powerful and I will be happy that you are so handsome and when I see how handsome you are my stomach will fall with many unpleasant emotions like a cake with too many raisins and I will want to shut you up in a closet like a dress too beautiful to wear. (November 26, 1931)

Dearest – I suppose I will spend the rest of my life torn between the desire to master life and the feeling that it is, au fond, a contemptuous enemy. (Februrary/March 1932)

Happily, happily foreverafterwards – the best we could. (August 1936)

Dearest: I am always grateful for all the royalties you gave me, and I am always loyal to the concepts that held us to-gether so long: the belief that life is tragic, that a mans spiritual reward is the keeping of his faith: that we shouldn’t hurt each other. And I love, always your fine writing, your tolerance and generosity; and all your happy endowments. Nothing could have survived our life. (March 1939)

Dear Scott, Dearest Zela, Bloomsbury, 2003