Sometimes I have this urge to leave it all behind and start anew, to take the first train home and to be the girl my mother never had. I’ve always done only want I wanted, I never listened, I was so sure that my way was the good way. And now I’m almost grown up and I’m… mildly content with my life. I know, what can a spoiled brat like me possibly want more? Don’t I already have everything? Yes and no. I have a place I can call my own, I have food in the fridge and tons of clothes, I have hip film cameras and half a dozen of Converse shoes. I can satisfy almost every material whim. But does that make me happy? Of course not.

Most of the time characters in books start out as average people but their desires and ideas make them stick out, make them live the adventure of their lives. I am a fiction addict because that’s the only way I can live extraordinary things. I am too coward and lazy to do something that matters in real life so I rely on characters to supply me with the adrenalin and happiness I crave for.

I’m trying to picture how my life will look like in 5, 10 years’ time and I can’t see anything. I don’t know what I want to do, where I want to be, how I want to live, I don’t know anything except that I need to figure out what I want to do and just go and do it because no matter how many books I read, I still won’t be satisfied with my life.

*Klaxons – Atlantis to Interzone

Posted on by ionuca | Posted in For a minute there I lost myself, I think I'm paranoid and complicated

9 Responses to We’re fragments of fiction*

  1. by Gracie on September 27, 2011 at 10:52 am

    Only you can make things happens, so…… stand up to your dreams!

  2. by ade on September 27, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    I feel you! just step up and do those things that you dream on doing! wish you lots of luck! :D

  3. by ionuca on September 28, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    @Gracie: hopefully I will :)

    @ade: thanks a lot!

  4. by Raii on September 29, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    fruntea sus si zambetu pe buze, curcubeul mereu straluceste in zilele intunecata la fel si tu :) … miss you …. i really do :(

  5. by ionuca on September 30, 2011 at 7:55 am

    @Raii: heeeei, ce semn neașteptat!!! Mulțumesc mult pentru comentariu și pentru zâmbetul pe care mi l-ai pus pe buze. Și mie mi-e dor de tine, dar doar la Crăciun o să vin acasă. Sper că o să vrei să ne vedem. Hug mare!

  6. by Pavla on October 2, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    Ionuca, you don’t want to open your cafe/bookshop anymore??? It was such a nice plan and you seemed to be keen on it. I remember that you talked about it a lot when I was in Romania. Did u change your mind? :(

  7. by spacy on October 2, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    ionucaaa dupa ce ti-am citit postul..melodia asta a fost primul lucru la care m-am gandit.

  8. by dana on October 6, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    Intotdeauna dupa ploaie apare si curcubeul

  9. by ionuca on October 8, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    @Pavla: I still have that dream, but unfortunately is not very realistic. There aren’t so many readers in Baia Mare…

    @spacy: awww, I love that song! It’s lifts my mood every time I hear it! Thank you! :)

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