I am spoiled. And lazy. And immature. I know, I know, everyone knows that, no need to emphasise it. But I am not doing that, I am simply stating the obvious. I like being me, I don’t want to change, I know that on some deep level I will never change. All I can do is to try and make my life better according to my personality.

I’ve thought and thought and I’ve reached a couple of conclusions: a 9 to 5 job is not for me. Sure, I don’t mind it now and maybe I won’t mind it in three years’ time but at one point I’ll hate it. I need flexible hours, time for myself, for my daydreams and books. I’d rather have a part-time job and be a part-time housewife than work full-time.

Another conclusion is that no one is more important than me. I’ve known this all along but it feels good admitting it out loud. Everything will always be about ME. This means that I’ll forever do what I want for as long as I want it.

And the third conclusion is that I am afraid of getting old in Bucharest. It’s not a pleasant city and with each day that passes I get a tiny bit closer to insanity. The city, this city!, is driving me mad!

So taking everything into consideration I’ve decided to let life take it’s normal course till I’m 30 and if nothing happens (have the same job, live in the same apartment, have the same slightly boring life) I’ll move back home. Uhum, in the city where nothing happens. At least I can try to open my own bookshop and see how things go. Or I can have some insignificant job and read all day. I’ll live with my parents of course and I’ll cook with my dad and have coffee with Mum (tea for me). I doesn’t sound bad at all. Plus, that way I’ll make sure I’ll be a kid for ever and ever and ever :D

I think I need a shrink…

 

 

Posted on by ionuca | Posted in For a minute there I lost myself, I hate Mondays, I think I'm paranoid and complicated, My Bucharest, My uRMa, Pictures of you, With a little help from my friends

13 Responses to Decisions

  1. by Ralu on May 17, 2011 at 12:36 am

    I sort of know how you feel. But cheer up, it gets better after getting something sugary in your system. :P And if you ever need someone compulsively reordering the books on the shelves of your future bookshops, count me in :)) *huggles*

  2. by Béranger on May 17, 2011 at 7:50 am

    Yes, and pigs are flying. And part-time jobs pay great time. Unless you’re some kind of Amélie Nothomb or Herta Mueller, or some kind of genius or a biiiiig artist, you’ll be starving — that is, assuming you’re not the wife of a big shot.

  3. by Elena on May 17, 2011 at 7:58 am

    Get your head out of your ass ! Neaah, don’t.
    Apropo, ce parere ai despre “I love you, you pay my rent” ?

  4. by Ali Mic on May 17, 2011 at 11:23 am

    I honestly think you just say these things to try to convince yourself that you are something you are not anymore, a kid. No kid wants to stay small, where you, on the other side, wish this. Complaining makes things worse, start seing the good parts. Besides, would you wanna see your 40 years old child living with you, reading all day, and drinking tea ? we’re not all Havishams so we can afford giving in to our madness…
    Life is hard and most of the times is not as read in books, seen in movies or dreamed in fantasies.

  5. by Gracie on May 17, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    And leave behind your own independence? I don’t think so….if you live with someone else in their own house you have to stick with their rules, I don’t see you like this……..

  6. by ionuca on May 17, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    @Ralu: you are soooo sweet! >:D< @Béranger: I think I wasn't clear: I want someone to take care of me :P (pay for food and going out) and I want a part-time for books and clothes. Also, I wouldn't mind have a part-time and doing freelance jobs - I can control my time better that way. @Elena: very to the point! :)) I like her idea and I already bought her a coffee (more cups will be bought from now on). It's a cool way to thank her for her blog :) @Ali Mic: that's exactly my problem: I want my life to be just like in a book :( And I am kid, honestly! Or at least I am desperately holding on to the idea of being a kid as a result of this life being so fucked-up as it is. 30 sounds like a decent age: if I'm still a child by then, why not go on being a child for ever? @Gracie: I think I'll be able to make my own rules. Mum has become really flexible in the last years :) Anyways, right now it seems like the best solution. God know what I'll be thinking next year! :)

  7. by Roxa on May 18, 2011 at 11:35 am

    I’ve only been here for a few months and I already feel ya. 9 to 5 ain’t for me either and I also wanna go back to mommy (sometimes). Then, when they visit, they remind me of the reasons why I left home in the first place. :))
    Too bad or small little towns back in the North don’t have as many job options.
    And by the way, you’re still complaining about your boring life. Still that sucker-for-drama Ionuca I know. :)

  8. by Roxa on May 18, 2011 at 11:36 am

    our*

  9. by Ally on May 19, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    Except the part with living with one’s parents, I so agree with your post, with being really lazy and also egocentric :) But, just a tip, the more you spend time doing what you want, the harder it will be to change that at a certain point :)

  10. by ionuca on May 20, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    @Roxa: as you can see, I’m not looking for an awesome job, just something small and that allows me to enjoy a good book :D

    @Ally: I know, but honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever want to change :)

  11. by Steve on May 23, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    Eu, unul, cred ca Home is where SHE is ! :)) Bine, la mine ii mai usor de zis, pt ca nu exista nicio EA ! Inca:)) Pe de alta parte, te inteleg la partea cu rutina si munca, dar na.. intotdeauna am si un plan B si sper sa fac si eu altceva de la vara. Sa ai spor la tot! hug!

  12. by Doro on June 6, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    De ce nu alegi altceva decât “home”? Adventure, exploring etc.

  13. by ionuca on June 6, 2011 at 10:46 pm

    @Steve: de-abia aștept să ne vedem la vară :)

    @Doro: pentru că sunt leneșă :)

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