I’ve always been a “simple things” kind of person. Almost anything could make my day. But lately I’ve been wanting this one BIG thing; what exactly, that I don’t know. But I know my small things didn’t make me happy anymore. I ignored them, made them look insignificant, dismissed them. I didn’t make myself happy anymore.
And it just hit me: all this complaining, feeling depressed all the time, having panic attacks about the future, all this shit that was going on was only because of me. Me, me, me. Cause it’s way easy to complain than to actually do something about it, isn’t it?
So I’ve decided not to bitch anymore. To do something about this, whatever this is. I am so scared of not having enough time for me, but in fact I have a lot and I just waste it instead of making the best of it. I know, it sounds like a stupid self-help book, but sometimes you just have to help yourself.
And in order to do that I’m going back to the roots. Back to being a colourful, silly, spoiled, gullible, “I love this world” child. No more bad hair days, not more giving a rat’s ass about what to wear, no more frowning while walking around the city, no more letting stupid people bring me down *or at least that’s what I’m going to try and do*.
Besides, I want to do something each and every day. And something can mean a lot of different things: smiling to a stranger, reading on Wikipedia about something I’ve always wanted to read but “never had time to”, buying snowdrops, not picturing how I’m killing the stupid fuck who accidentally touched my hand in the metro, playing more with uRMa, you get the picture.
I’m really excited about this, though I know it won’t be easy sticking to it and I know happiness doesn’t show up on command. But I really, really think I can change and just be Me again.
Wish me luck! 
Roxa says: 
Good luck with not giving a crap while enjoying little things !
Fen 
jane 
ionuca 
morbo 
