Where to?

29 Jan

I’ve been thinking more and more about leaving Bucharest. Oh, the reasons are countless. My Dream City didn’t turn out to be so dreamy after all. And it’s not only it’s fault, I’m not saying that, it’s just that I had a completely different picture in my mind of what it was going to be like. Disappointed? Maybe.

I hate the person it has turned me into. Yes, I’ve always been a bit snobbish and incredibly superficial, but I haven’t been paranoid and most of all, I haven’t been a man-hater before, or, if you prefer the lighter version, a misanthrope. I loved people so much, every weekend I didn’t go out was a tragedy and now I can’t stand people anymore, I bloody hate most of them and as for going out, hah, you’d have to drag me out of the house first.

And I’m thinking about the reasons I should stay where I am and only one pops into my mind: work. Yeah, as if I bloody can’t wait to work 8h/day, 5day/week. I know I’ll eventually have to do it, but I’m not looking forward to that. So, besides work, what else is keeping me in this city where I feel depressed 90% of the time? Let me think… still thinking… hm, I’ve got it: NOTHING! So then, why don’t I go after university is over?

Most probably I will. A psychiatrist could help me, but I don’t really want that. This is between me and Bucharest and it has proven to be more than I can take. I’ve thought about where to move and Timisoara sounds awesome. I mean, I love the place, I love the people (well, at least some :) ) and it’s such a civilised place! It has Carturesti and Humanitas – I won’t run out of books – it has some book release, it has Schimb de carti; and I bet it has a lot more than I know of. And I could come to concerts and other very special events back in Bucharest, is not as if I went in another country or something. As for work, right now I’m open to any kind of suggestions and any kind of job. I love books, I love working with them, but I can’t be like this anymore.

Maybe I’m stupid, maybe it’s all my head and Timisoara will prove to be a complete disaster. Maybe it doesn’t matter where you live and what you see when you wake up in the morning and go to the window. Maybe it doesn’t matter what kind of people you meet every day on the street. Like I’ve said, maybe it’s all in my head. But if I’m still alive after 3 years of staying here, I think 2 years in Timisoara won’t kill me. And after I finish the master’s degree (I’ve already check them out and found one I might want to do) and I don’t like it there, I can always come back here and give it another try. But I have to do something, really do something about this. Cause I can’t go on with one day out of ten being perfectly fine and loving this city, and the rest being miserable and wanting to kill everyone.

It’s not set in stone, nothing’s been really decided yet, but I talked to Mum and she supports me whatever I want to do and that makes me feel a little bit better. It’s all up to me it seems and the more I think about this the more I want to go.

32 Responses to “Where to?”

  1. delia 29. Jan, 2009 at 11:31 am

    mai stii gafa de la ziua lui dorin? ca nici tu nu stii ce o sa faci? iata ca acu stii:) ! bravoo…partie catre Timisoara iti doresc.

  2. Roxa 29. Jan, 2009 at 11:48 am

    Guess I`ll be leaving alone in your apartment then. :)

  3. Roxa 29. Jan, 2009 at 11:49 am

    Jesus Christ. *living. :))

  4. V 29. Jan, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    Indeed. Si pe mine ma cam bate gandul sa ma mut din Bucuresti. Tot intr-un oras din Ardeal. Sa vedem care.
    (Unde naiba am pus zarurile alea… ?)

  5. Adrian Ciubotaru 29. Jan, 2009 at 1:33 pm

    yuck you too!:)

  6. ionuca 29. Jan, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    @ delia: da, sper sa nu imi schimb parerea de o mie si o suta de ori pana atunci :)

    @ Roxa: I don’t think you’ll be living alone :)

    @ V: Serios, serios? Hai mergem amandoi in TM :D

    @ Adi: stii ca nu e vorba de asta. Stii ce bine ma simt cu voi, dar cum ziceam, e o zi din zece, in ce ma bun caz.

  7. Ale 29. Jan, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    Why does your math hate me? D: Anyway, go for it, you’re young and you can change things easier now than in 10 years!

  8. V 29. Jan, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Mai este pana atunci… Minim 2 ani. Vreau sa prind Sfarsitul Lumii in vestul Romaniei.

  9. Gracie 29. Jan, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    Remember, beauty is anywhere, and stupid people as well. It’s all in your eyes and heart. But if you think you don’t fit in a place, you should listen to your heart.

  10. delia 29. Jan, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    acu am vazut BOUL nostruummmm:)) . multamuri.

  11. ionuca 29. Jan, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    @ Ale: yeah, exactly!

    @ V: sper sa ajung inaintea ta :)

    @ Gracie: I’m trying to listen to it and hopefully it’s going to be for the best.

    @ delia: macar cu atat sa va ajut si eu :) *thumbs up pentru proiect!!!*

  12. Fen 29. Jan, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    Timisoara ain’t bohemian enoguh for you! Hai la Cluj!

  13. ionuca 29. Jan, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    Dudette, mai bine crap in Bucuresti decat sa ma duc in Cluj :)) )) I fucking hate that place, you know that! :))

  14. Fen 29. Jan, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    Cluj e cel mai fin oras din ro:P
    Timisoara e faina, dar nu-mi prea plac timisorenii.

  15. V 29. Jan, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    Fen is trolling you tbh imo z0mg. She’s also a future cjuleanca.

  16. nikalay 29. Jan, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    Şi eu aş vrea să plec..departe..foarte departe.. în Lisboa- să simt parfumul ei demodat de fostă putere colonială, străduţele întortochiate şi fado-ul răsunând în toată Baixa(centrul Lisabonei).. în California-un ‘stat în stat’ unde parcă s-au adunat toate naţiile pământului-coreeni şi armeni laolaltă şi trupe de post-rock… Brazil- ţara-plajă cu oameni care fentează viaţa(şi munca!).. Punta Arenas şi Ushuaia-oraşele de la capătul lumii cu ploi verticale din cauza vânturilor de vest care deseori depăşesc 100km/h http://flickr.com/photos/29865601@N05/3200394067/ .. şi ţărmurile îngheţate de la Marea Ross,unde soarele răsare în Octombrie şi mai apune abia la sfârşitul lui Februarie… brusc, realizez că n-am bani să iau autobuzul nici măcar până la Bragadiru, d’apăi să le înţeleg vorbele şi ideile oamenilor de pe pământurile mai sus menţionate! (nu ştiu unde este Bragadiru, dar este un nume aşa de..mitic! :)) şi uite-aşa s-au mai dus 10 minute pe comentariul ăsta! (I should get a life)

  17. Eugen 29. Jan, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    Hmm, interesting.

    You’re right, maybe it will do you good to leave Bucharest for a while.

    The question that springs to mind is why Romania, though? Why not Paris or London or Munich (well, maybe not Paris cause I don’t think your French will help you a lot). Or … Barcelona? :)

    Maybe you should just abandon ship for a while, work some odd job in some foreign city while trying to “get a hold of your life” and see how that works out for you?

    If you decide to do it, I think you should strive to clear your feelings over the last few years from your mind as you leave.

    And here I am, talking too much again. Well, just trying to help. Hope it works out for you :)

  18. ionuca 29. Jan, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    @ Fen: Cluj SUX for me, end of subject :P

    @ V: nu-ti face griji, catre vest ma duc, nu catre nord :D

    @ nikalay: we all should get a life, but what’s the use? :)

    @ Eugen: cause I don’t have the guts to do it, that’s why :) Maybe one day I’ll actually be able to say “fuck it, I’m leaving”, but now I’m not up to that :)

  19. Fen 29. Jan, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    Chestia cu Timisoara e ca deja cand stau o saptamana simt ca turbez. Prea mult denebe.
    Desi…ai putea sa mananci pliescavita in fiecare zi :X , dar tie nu-ti place carnea, deci nu se pune.

  20. Ale 29. Jan, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    You know, Eugen is right. You’ve made a big step moving to Bucharest, but what about another country? In some jobs you don’t need the language and you can take a community college course for the language.

    There’s no better time like the present!

  21. Bau 29. Jan, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    Timişoara =nice.
    Dar Timişoara = no more big events ˛ concerts. În Timişoara nu vine James Blunt săptămâna viitoare, Sting peste 3 săptămâni şi în Timişoara n-are loc Gala Folk pe 28 februarie.

  22. Eugen 29. Jan, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    @ionuca, I was just saying.

    If you think T. is your best shot, go for it. I hope it works out for you.

  23. ionuca 29. Jan, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    @ Fen: o sa citesti cum ma descurc eu pe acolo :D

    @ Ale: it wasn’t a big step. I wanted that since I was like 10 or smth; it was natural. The way I feel now is not natural, wanting to get away from here. And I’m really not ready for moving to another country.

    @ Eugen: I know you were just saying :P And yes, TM is my best shot. At least now :)

    @ Bau: nu ar fi o problema pentru mine sa vin la concertele si evenimentele care imi plac cu adevarat. Si, scuza-ma, pentru niste concerte nu merita sa-mi f… nervii in orasul asta :) Chiar nu mai pot :)

  24. Fen 29. Jan, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    Ah da, in caz ca nu stiai, si eu urasc Bucurestiul. GG on moving:P .
    Daaar, de ce nu Iasi?

  25. Bau 29. Jan, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    Mi-a luat 10 minute să formulez ultimul comment cât să conţină un motiv pentru a rămâne.
    So go.. şi ţine-mi pumnii peste 5 luni când o să vreau şi eu să fac saltul.

  26. tuvia 30. Jan, 2009 at 11:52 am

    asa am zis si eu, nu mai suportam orashul asta.Am plecat la mare, m’am intors, n’am ce sa fac, this shitty town and all its depressive streets and memories….i can’t escape.Good luck, girl!

  27. ionuca 30. Jan, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    @ Fen: Iasul e frumos, dar tot prea mic e :)

    @ Bau: :)) ce tare! Fingers crossed :)

    @ tuvia: da’ tu de ce nu pleci de tot? Macar pentru o perioada mai lunga.

  28. hiacint 31. Jan, 2009 at 10:50 am

    Ionuca, eu am simţit că Timişoara, dincolo de aerul ei vestic, e la fel de neglijată de către locuitorii ei ca şi Iaşul. Poate exagerez, Ama ar şti să spună mai bine, că stă acolo. Problema e, după cum o văd eu, că oamenii care nu simt că oraşul e acasă al lor o să urîţească locul. Şi imaginează-te pe tine împotriva unei armate de urîcioşi :)
    Lasînd teoria urbano-sentimentală, dacă te muţi la Timişoara, i have to go west, e un drum al naibii de lung de aici-acolo, de acolo-aici ;)

  29. ionuca 31. Jan, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    E adevarat ca nu am stat mult acolo, dar din ce am vazut si din ce mi s-a povestit, timisorenii chiar tin la orasul lor. Ca nu toti fac asta, ei bine, ar fi si imposibil.

    Mai este pana atunci, dar ai putea foarte bine sa vii sa ma vezi si sa vin si eu la tine. E aproape primavara, e timpul nostru :) Ce zici? >:D<

  30. dragos c 01. Feb, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    You know the cure for it, according to me…

  31. morbo 01. Feb, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    well, if it’s really that bad and you can’t see any other way to fix it, do it. i’ve never been to timisoara, so about the ”where to” part i wouldn’t know what to say. except that, overall, west is better than east. i’ve been to bucharest though, it’s exotic and interesting(in good and bad ways), but i wouldn’t want to live there.i’m a fan of europe (the continent) and that seems farther there than in sibiu.

  32. ionuca 01. Feb, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    @ dragos: I don’t think a good fuck will change things for me :)

    @ morbo: I can’t. Maybe I will see another way in the following months. I don’t know.

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