I’ve been thinking more and more about leaving Bucharest. Oh, the reasons are countless. My Dream City didn’t turn out to be so dreamy after all. And it’s not only it’s fault, I’m not saying that, it’s just that I had a completely different picture in my mind of what it was going to be like. Disappointed? Maybe.
I hate the person it has turned me into. Yes, I’ve always been a bit snobbish and incredibly superficial, but I haven’t been paranoid and most of all, I haven’t been a man-hater before, or, if you prefer the lighter version, a misanthrope. I loved people so much, every weekend I didn’t go out was a tragedy and now I can’t stand people anymore, I bloody hate most of them and as for going out, hah, you’d have to drag me out of the house first.
And I’m thinking about the reasons I should stay where I am and only one pops into my mind: work. Yeah, as if I bloody can’t wait to work 8h/day, 5day/week. I know I’ll eventually have to do it, but I’m not looking forward to that. So, besides work, what else is keeping me in this city where I feel depressed 90% of the time? Let me think… still thinking… hm, I’ve got it: NOTHING! So then, why don’t I go after university is over?
Most probably I will. A psychiatrist could help me, but I don’t really want that. This is between me and Bucharest and it has proven to be more than I can take. I’ve thought about where to move and Timisoara sounds awesome. I mean, I love the place, I love the people (well, at least some 
) and it’s such a civilised place! It has Carturesti and Humanitas – I won’t run out of books – it has some book release, it has Schimb de carti; and I bet it has a lot more than I know of. And I could come to concerts and other very special events back in Bucharest, is not as if I went in another country or something. As for work, right now I’m open to any kind of suggestions and any kind of job. I love books, I love working with them, but I can’t be like this anymore.
Maybe I’m stupid, maybe it’s all my head and Timisoara will prove to be a complete disaster. Maybe it doesn’t matter where you live and what you see when you wake up in the morning and go to the window. Maybe it doesn’t matter what kind of people you meet every day on the street. Like I’ve said, maybe it’s all in my head. But if I’m still alive after 3 years of staying here, I think 2 years in Timisoara won’t kill me. And after I finish the master’s degree (I’ve already check them out and found one I might want to do) and I don’t like it there, I can always come back here and give it another try. But I have to do something, really do something about this. Cause I can’t go on with one day out of ten being perfectly fine and loving this city, and the rest being miserable and wanting to kill everyone.
It’s not set in stone, nothing’s been really decided yet, but I talked to Mum and she supports me whatever I want to do and that makes me feel a little bit better. It’s all up to me it seems and the more I think about this the more I want to go.
ionuca 
Fen 
nikalay 
, dar tie nu-ti place carnea, deci nu se pune.
morbo 
mai stii gafa de la ziua lui dorin? ca nici tu nu stii ce o sa faci? iata ca acu stii
! bravoo…partie catre Timisoara iti doresc.