I never thought it would be this hard. I never thought I would actually cry. We broke up. This time he agreed that this is the best solution. I was kind of taken aback when I heard him say that. He was always the one who said we would never break up, we would live happily ever after. And now… he says “I don’t want you anymore”. I have Alex to thank that I’ve learned my lesson: never believe in such great words, never believe in stupid concepts as “the one” and “meant to be”. I know I’m a bit skeptical when it comes to love and I wish I wasn’t, but I’ve got to protect myself, don’t I? It was horrible, horrible, horrible when Alex broke up with me and I had been in love with him for years after. I’m not going to make the same stupid mistake again. You can say I’m a bit traumatized by that experience, I don’t care.

I packed all his presents and drawings and whatever else he gave me. I don’t want to see them and think of him. We’re going to meet tonight in Baia Mare to give him back his stuff and then I want him out of my life for good. I don’t even want to know what he is doing. I don’t care. And we can’t remain friends. I refuse that. In fact, I want to have this major black-out and not even remember him. And I refuse to think about “the good days”. I refuse to think about him. So who cares there was a time when he was the most important person in my life? Fuck it. I just want to forget… And mostly, I won’t miss him! Nope! I won’t do that! No way!

Posted on by ionuca | Posted in I think I'm paranoid and complicated, Uncategorized

8 Responses to Over.

  1. by Gracie on April 5, 2007 at 9:29 am

    Like Rossella O’Hara once said “I’ll think about it tomorrow” coz remember Ionuca, there’s always a tomorrow, and a better one!

  2. by lost_grl on April 5, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    hugs!

  3. by silvia on April 5, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    it’s sad when something ends. hug.

  4. by Holly on April 6, 2007 at 2:38 am

    “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

  5. by Roxa on April 7, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    You`ll start anew. Not now, maybe not even in a year, but you`ll love again, you`ll be happy again. You must remember this in order to… simply move on. I love you, kid. :) And sorry I couldn`t answer back, I told you… I was (and still am) out of credit.

  6. by c on April 28, 2007 at 11:34 pm

    hei, o sa fiu sincera
    cand am inceput sa citesc pe blogul tau despre relatia ta cu cata, am strambat din nas, deoarece ceea ce scrii mi se parea putin patetic, putin egoist…
    dar, dup-aia, uitandu-ma mai bine in mine insumi, am realizat ca la fel reactionez si eu cand simt ca nu sunt dorita/iubita – sunt nervoasa, rea, agresiva, dar ca am alte moduri “to let it out”. asa ca in final am izbucnit in ras realizand ca hei, e si asta o forma de terapie – e mai bine sa iti lasi energia negativa pe blog decat sa o reversi asupra celorlalti

    si din nou… daca l-ai iubit cu adevarat, o sa il iubesti intotdeauna intr-un fel sau altul

  7. by c on April 28, 2007 at 11:36 pm

    intr-o buna zi cand lucrurile se vor fi linistit o sa zambesti citind amanuntita descriere a frontului de batalie:)

  8. by ionuca on April 28, 2007 at 11:48 pm

    @ C: am avut o relatie destul de tampita. Nu stiu exact ce ne-a facut sa rezistam aproape un an jumate. Uneori mi-e dor de el, dar imi este de-ajuns sa ma gandesc ca nu ar fi fost niciodata cu adevarat langa mine si imi trece :)

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