Rainbow Child

I can’t really talk about this trip, because I can’t seem to find the right words to describe my current state of mind. It was so beautiful there and I felt so at peace with myself… it was more than words can say! The beach was empty, not a single person disturbed me. The sun was shining and there was the sea breeze… the sea was calm and oh, so clean! I’ve never seen such a beautiful sea! I took off my shoes and socks and buried my feet in the sand. I even dipped my feet into the water. Everything was so quiet and still, I simply couldn’t believe that I had the entire beach all to myself! I loved being there!

I don’t want to take a shower because I don’t want this salty-sea smell to disappear. I don’t want to clean my bag of all that sand. I didn’t want to leave that place! These were the 2 best days in a long, long time. Now I know I love the sea, but I love it the way it is now – solitary. I want to go again to the seaside, but this time with Cata. And I don’t want to go in summer when everybody goes. I want a remote, quiet piece of beach only for the two of us…

I’m going to the seaside!!!! My mum’s there on a business trip and I thougt I’d drop by. So, yeah, I’m going to the seaside!!! I hope it won’t be freezing outside so I can read a bit while listening to the sea. I’m so excited about this!!!

Stiam ce ma asteapta cand am ales Bucurestiul, stiam ca nu o sa-mi placa chiar tot ce tine de oras si de oameni, dar azi s-au adunat prea multe si nu mai pot sa tin ura, revolta, scarba in mine.

1. “Vreau si io…”: de ce naiba nu pot spune frumos “imi dati, va rog…” sau “as dori…”? De ce trebuie sa foloseasca mereu acest enervant “vreau si io…”, de parca lor li se cuvine totul??? Nu stiam de ce sunt vanzatorii din Bucuresti asa mari scarbe… trebuie sa faca fata cumparatorilor care sunt mai scarbe decat ei. Unde e politetea? Unde e respectul?
2. Ma enervez de fiecare data cand o persoana tanara se asaza pe scaun intr-un mijloc de transport in comun, desi vede ca un jur e plin de oameni in varsta.
3. Urasc expresiile de genul “tac-tu”, “frac-tu”. DE CE?????
4. Cat de idioate pot fi tipele care se adreseaza una alteia cu “frate”?
5. Ma scoate din sarite cand cineva imi spune la telefon, pe un ton cat se poate de grabit “hai, te pup, pa-pa!”.
6. De ce nu pot sa spuna corect de si pe? De ce vorbesc cu dă si pă? “Cartea dă pă masă” etc…. [nu, nici noi ardelenii nu vorbim corect, dar la noi problema este ca folosim multe regionalisme si cuvinte imprumutate din maghiara].

I had ONE more exam on the 8th of February. But it was rescheduled on the bloody 11th of February!!! You know, 3 days really make a difference for some of us. I, for example, had already bought a train ticket to Cluj. I wanted to spend the weekend there with My Maria and other friends. It’s the first time I really wanted to go away from

Bucharest, but noooo, I can’t. So, I have to stay here almost a week for your fucking exam! I know that for you it’s ok and all, cause I can see you don’t give shit about your students, but for me it’s not!!! I don’t want to be here on my own for a week! I don’t want to simply waste this week for you… cause I’m sure I won’t feel like doing anything. I HAD PLANS!!!!! I wanted to have fun after fuckin’ 11 exams!!!!! I know, why should you care? You’re just a fancy university teacher and we’re some stupid students. As if we matter to you!!! Ah, I hate you so much right now!!!

I just had a phone conversation with Mum. She made me hung up on her again. Every time we start talking about my future job [it seems that from next week I'm really going to work! ] we end up arguing. This time she told me that it had never been my dream to read books and get paid for that Come on! I’ve told her so many times that that would be the perfect job for me: to read books staying at home, in a comfy armchair, with a cat in my lap, a cup of tea and oranges on a coffee table nearby. She knows that I can’t stop reading and she knows how important books are for me. So why does she always try to convince me that this is not what I want?

I’m sorry I didn’t want to study Economics. I’m sorry I don’t want to be a bank director like you. I’m sorry I don’t have such great expectations from life. I’m sorry money is not that important for me. I’m sorry I’m such an idealistic person. I’m sorry I don’t want to drive a fancy car, have 3 apartments and still feel that I don’t have enough. I’m sorry my dreams and feelings are much more important to me than money. I’m sorry I can picture myself having a modest life, but loving it and smiling each and every day. I’m sorry I don’t care about social status. I’m sorry I’m not the money-making driven machine you would like me to be

And no, I don’t want to go to Germany with you in March.