I don’t know if I like Bucharest anymore as I find myself longing for weekends as far away as possible from here. It’s so refreshing to see new faces, new buildings, to breathe cleaner air, to eat in a new place, to drink beer in a new pub – you get my point. On the other hand, as much as I like Sibiu, it’s not big enough for me. I am once again divided between two powerful needs: my need for anonymity, which only a big city can offer, and my need for feel-at-home places. Maybe one day I’ll be lucky enough to find a balance between the two.

I haven’t been this zen in ages. I am almost tempted to say that when I’ll look back on my life this is the period I’ll miss the most: not high school, not university, definitely not the MA, but this: 25, feeling as free as a bird, doing exactly what I want, traveling wherever I want, having just as much money as I need, trying and sometimes succeeding to conquer my anxiety, my depressive moods, my dictatorial gestures…

What I find mind-blowing is that now, right this moment, I don’t have any regrets, none whatsoever.

Let the future come, I’m ready for it.

Damn, time flies especially when you want it to stop. I’ve tried to make my days seem longer at home but I failed miserably. Whenever I looked at the watch it was either too late or I was late or it was time I went home. There are a few friends I did’t get to meet and I still feel I haven’t spent as much time as possible with my relatives. I need more time!

Whenever I went out with Steve on his motorcycle I felt safe. I knew that nothing bad could happen, I felt that he was in control and that he was taking care of me. And whenever he brought me back home I was smiling from ear to ear. It’s such a beautiful friendship we have, it’s so comforting to have someone who knows me for such a long time, someone with whom I feel so safe, so good.

How do people cope with raising children? You know I am crazy about my niece but even she can get on my nerves if we spend too much time together. Add her brother to the combination and I’m literally going crazy! How can you have the patience to tell them ‘no’ over and over again? How can you not be mad when they fight and don’t want to share? Where can you hide when you want to be alone but they won’t let you? Who decides what channel you watch on TV? How many game can one invent and what do you when you, the adult, get tired of playing with them and you want to stop but they are begging you to continue? I’ve started to miss them the moment I left the house and I’d love to play with them right now but it’s clear that I don’t want to see them every day, that I can’t care about someone else more than I care about myself. But I’m OK with it.

Meeting Gabi and Alexandra made me very happy. They are so sweet and so in love! We didn’t have that much time (oh, this time is killing me!) to catch up but they said something about coming to Bucharest so I’m really looking forward to showing them the city and staying out late and chat.

I’ve met/connected with such nice people lately! It’s amazing to talk to someone new and feel like you’ve know them for years! And it feels great to admire and like someone and find out that they think you’re not too bad yourself People are definitely the ones who bring me down but when I happen to meet GREAT people it feels like Christmas morning

Here I am with a Weizen next to my laptop enjoying my first day back home. The train ride was uneventful except the fact that I’m almost sure I was in the same compartment with one of my school mates from my first high school. And if that is right, man, how different she looked! We didn’t talk (either she wasn’t my school mate, or she didn’t recognized me, or she didn’t want to talk) but she seemed so… changed – not in the best possible way, from my point of view. It was a bit shocking, I have to admit. It also made me think about how people who knew me 5-6-7 years ago might consider my own metamorphosis: a good one or a bad one? But in the end all that matters is how we see ourselves, if we like what we have become.

Home is… home Mum took these two days off so we can spend more time together. We’re making shopping list and cooking lists and I hope I won’t put on weight while I’m here I haven’t met anyone yet (been too busy dying my hair orange, or close to orange, and shopping for a coat – still looking for one) but tomorrow (well, today) is going to be the day. If it doesn’t rain, I’ll consider tomorrow a perfect day.

I’m not a big fan of Easter but it’s cool that I get to see my family and re-bond with them. I’m not very good with keeping in touch – although I miss some of them, I never call – but sometimes I feel the urge to see them, to talk to them. It’s good to know that there are some people that are there for me no matter how rarely we see each other and no matter how different we are.

The blog has had a couple of rough days. I’m not sure exactly what kind of virus or bug it was infected with, but E. assured me that now it is safe. Too bad that I had to give up my other theme I liked it a lot, although it was a biiiit too crowded. This one is just a draft, it’s far too simple for my taste, but better this than nothing, right? E. will work on a new theme for me when he has time and I’m going to nag him to design something more like me.

Well, I’d better go to bed now. I don’t want to be tired tomorrow, the glorious day.